by Where are they?
When I got up this morning, I looked outside for the throngs of fans and paparazzi, waiting desperately for a glimpse of me (or, for the extra special ones, an autograph). But?no one.
The wrong address must have been leaked to the masses. Either that, or a police roadblock is further down the road, keeping the screaming girls at bay.
There has to be a logical explanation. Now that I am a big time celebrity and television star, it MUST be in my contract somewhere that I have to be protected from stalkers and will have women coming up to me in Target, wanting me to autograph their baby and telling me the kid is mine.
So why am I going to be attending parties with the McGraws and getting desperate phone calls from the Today Show, begging me to be a guest? Well,?next Saturday morning?at 5:30 a.m., I am going to be the guest on a talk show (ok, it?s for a St. Louis-based local show, but that?s not important right now), talking about my book on The Manson Family (ok, so it?s not completely written yet, but that?s not important, either). It sounds better without the addendum paragraphs, doesn?t it?
For those in the St. Louis area who want to see the genesis of an icon that will knock Justin Bieber from his cult of personality, I will be a guest on ?City Corner,? Saturday, May 28, airing at 5:30 a.m. on KDNL Channel 30. (C?mon, it?s only 30 minutes!). For out-of-the-area readers (or those who are soooo excited they just can’t wait), it can be seen online at www.stltv.net Saturday, May 21 at 6:30 a.m., Sunday, May 22 at 2:30 p.m., Monday, May 23 at 2:30 p.m., Wednesday, May 25 at 6 a.m., and Thursday, May 26 at 2:30 p.m. Just click on??Watch Stltv Live? on the right hand side of the home page.
Never mind that I got to the studio late for the taping, not even getting to go through makeup or put on my tie. I just did that so my friends have something to make fun of and won?t be too jealous of my newfound Hollywood status.
Maybe I?m just being too impatient. Maybe tomorrow is when my version of Beatlemania starts.
Unless there?s a rapture
